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You get the news – you’ve got the job! When your first day arrives, you are a mix of emotions; excited and nervous. This can also be the time when you start to doubt and question yourself; what if I’m not good enough, what if I mess up, what if those around me are better than I am…?
You aren’t alone. A study by Gee Hair (UK 2021-2022) found that two-thirds of women (and 60% of men) are not confident in their ability to do their job.
Why is this?
We all hold beliefs about ourselves, others and what's around us; that’s how we make sense of the world. Some of our beliefs are formed to protect us. Once formed, our brain looks for evidence to support them and discounts what doesn’t. These beliefs affect our thoughts and the stories we tell ourselves and how we behave. For example, you believe those around you are more capable than you are, your critical inner-voice reminds you of why this, you fear not being good enough and your self-doubts fester.
So, what can you do about it?
Here are some ways to help you pause, reflect and start to overcome these self-doubts:
The first step is to intentionally notice your thoughts, by tapping into them or putting pen to paper and journaling. Either way, notice what thoughts often come up, their tone, how they make you feel and how you tend to behave when they show up? Working on your awareness and reflecting on the insights will shed some light on the patterns and themes that come up and how these are inhibiting you.
The next step is to start to challenge them. Are your thoughts and beliefs true? Is the story you are telling yourself true? What evidence do you have for this? How would a friend or loved one respond to them? In challenging your thoughts and beliefs you can start to recognize that they are not true and feel kinder and more understanding towards yourself.
The final step is to break the pattern of hooking into and getting carried away by them. This involves pausing when they start to show up and intentionally responding in a different way, whether that be with a more positive tone, kindness and encouraging self-talk or facts and evidence.
Remember, you are NOT your thoughts! You have the power to re-write your story and you ARE capable of great things! So, next time those self-doubts show up; breathe, pause and take a small step towards taking control.
